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Jphyper

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Chuck Christmas

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-Krampus has been trying to be good lately so he doesn't get taken away by Chuck Norris.


-Ever wonder how Santa delivers so many presents so quickly? Experience. He races against Chuck Norris every year.


-Chuck Norris doesn't put a star on top of his Christmas tree. The last time he did, three very confused wise men knocked on his door.


-I don't remember what I got on the second day of Christmas because Chuck Norris knocked me out with the partridge and the pear tree.

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You may have noticed that I have been posting several literature deviations featuring crossovers of various franchises with the SCP Foundation. This journal is meant to be a sort of table of contents for finding these quickly. They are sorted based on the franchise they are from. It also includes SCPs that I have not yet done, but believe would make for good entries.


Doctor Who

SCP-013: The Doctor

SCP-014: The Master

SCP-015: K9

SCP-016: River Song

SCP-017: Psychic Paper

SCP-018: Dalek Chassis


Pokémon

SCP-150: Mewtwo

SCP-151: Mew

SCP-152: Missingno.

SCP-153: GS Ball

SCP-154: Silph Scope

SCP-155: Azure Flute

SCP-156: Ultra Wormholes


Minecraft

SCP-196: Ender Dragon Egg


Halo

SCP-343: Halo Rings

SCP-2401: The Flood


Fallout

SCP-4111: Dunwich Borers


Star Trek

SCP-8028: Guardian of Forever

SCP-8043: Tribble

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Many Doctor Who fans claim that Chris Chibnall is a terrible writer. Well, I'm going to investigate that claim by analyzing each episode and giving it a rating. This is how the rating works:

Platinum🏆: A mind-blowing episode that you'll remember forever

Gold🥇: A really good episode

Silver🥈: It's okay; not bad, but not very memorable.

Bronze🥉: A rather "meh" episode; it's not very good

Iron🔧: "WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!"


Episodes marked with an asterisk (*) are episodes which Chris Chibnall did not write or direct.


-Series 11-


The Woman Who Fell to Earth: Silver🥈

An interesting first start that establishes the characters well. The lack of an opening theme was disappointing, though.


The Ghost Monument: Silver🥈

Not much to say about this.


Rosa: Gold🥇

Touches on sensitive and important material without being too heavy-handed. It respects what it's about.


Arachnids in the UK: Gold🥇

This feels very much like an episode from the classic Who era, albeit with average CG instead of practical effects. However, instead of detracting from the episode, the average-ness of the effects only add to the classic feel.


The Tsuranga Conundrum: Silver🥈

It's okay. The title is about the only thing memorable. I do like how frustrated the Doctor gets when she realizes that someone else is right and that she should listen to their instructions.


Demons of the Punjab*: Gold🥇

A touching episode with an interesting moral dillemma.


The Witchfinders*: Silver🥈

Okay, but doesn't really stand out.


It Takes You Away*: Bronze🥉

This one didn't make a lot of sense.


The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos*: Silver🥈

This episode didn't do much to break the mold.


Overall, not a bad start. What I really liked is that it's all original; there is no mention of any past Doctor Who villains at any point.


-Series 12-


Resolution: Platinum🏆

It is said that even a blind squirrel sometimes finds an acorn. This is Chris Chibnall's acorn. It's a thrilling plot that manages to make the Daleks actually scary. It's very well done.


Spyfall, Part 1: Gold🥇

This episode is a nice take on classic spy thriller tropes.


Spyfall, Part 2: Silver🥈

The Doctor Who elements don't really blend as well with the spy elements as they do in the first part.


Orphan 55*: Bronze🥉

This one probably would've been silver if it wasn't for the ham-fisted moral speech at the end. Everyone complains about that, and I'm not an exception.


Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror*: Gold🥇

This episode does well at expressing the intellect of two geniuses: Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison. With Tesla, it was interesting for the Doctor to have a companion who could actually keep up with her. Edison was portrayed as a jerk (fitting since he and Tesla didn't get along in real life); however, unlike most jerk portrayals in media, he was not portrayed as stupid. It didn't take him long to catch onto things when they happened.


Fugitive of the Judoon: Silver🥈

The only reason this episode isn't bronze is because of Captain Jack Harkness. He was written and acted perfectly, giving this otherwise-mediocre episode just enough of a push to bump the rank up.


Praxeus: Bronze🥉

Another episode with a heavy-handed moral.


Can You Hear Me?: Bronze🥉

This feels like a retread of past episodes. The Doctor has defeated many, many immortals and many, many imagination manipulators before.


The Haunting of Villa Diodati*: Gold🥇

The Lone Cyberman is one of the most interesting and compelling characters I've ever seen on Doctor Who.


Ascension of the Cybermen: Silver🥈

It was interesting to see the Doctor and her companions trying to outsmart the Cyberman and his army.


The Timeless Children: Iron🔧

One of the stupidest Doctor Who episodes ever. It tries way too hard to be epic and make its mark on the lore. By trying to make the Doctor even more special, this episode undermines and destroys most of what already made the Doctor special in the first place. It's caused her to teeter on the edge of becoming a Mary Sue.

This is not to mention that much of the plot doesn't make sense. Take the Master's actions for instance: just because they're in-character for him doesn't mean it's good storytelling. The destruction of the Time Lords was an obvious try-hard move that limits future possibilities; converting them into Cybermen, while theoretically interesting, wasn't handled well; and killing the leader of the Cybermen was an unfitting anticlimactic end to an amazing character.


This second season/series was a big step down. What happened?

One thing I noticed that feels like a bit of excess political correctness: every gay couple shown in these episodes comes out okay, but every single traditional male/female romantic relationship has at least one of the people involved die by the end of the episode. Even the main characters are not exempt from this.

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Today, I got to thinking what battles against various villains would be like if they were bosses in Minecraft, much like the Ender Dragon, Wither, and Elder Guardian.


Nightmare Moon

This one is pretty straightforward: just fight her. She can fly and shoot with magic, but she won’t stay airborne for long. Defeating her purifies her and turns her back into Luna.


Discord

Discord isn’t really dangerous; just incredibly annoying. Instead of attacking directly, he just messes things up. Any solid block he moves over becomes a random color of glazed terra cotta. He turns cows, pigs, and chickens into random non-boss mobs. Bunnies are turned into The Killer Bunny. Iron Golems are given the Levitation effect as if struck by a Shulker (he may also do this to the player). Sheep have their colors changed or are given the “_jeb” nametag. Any mob he comes across can also be given the “Dinnerbone” nametag. When he is nearby, the Sharpness enchantment can be applied to sticks and various stone blocks. Doing so is necessary as it is the only way to damage him. He can also teleport like an Enderman and may teleport the player. He drops random types of stone upon defeat.


Queen Chrysalis

Chrysalis and her swarm may spawn as a village. The villagers seem normal; the player can even trade with them, though they will not breed nor spawn an iron golem. However, after a player has spent a combined total of two in-game days in the village, they reveal themselves and attack. They can also reveal themselves if the player or a mob kills a disguised changling or damages the queen. Once revealed, the queen will shapeshift into the player, complete with the best weapons and armor in their inventory equipped. Once beaten, she turns back into herself and fights more conventionally. Her fighting style is similar to Nightmare Moon, except she stays airborne until she’s at half health, then drops to the ground.


Once she’s beaten, any remaining changelings turn into reformed changelings and are no longer hostile. After that, the village respawns all of the villagers it would’ve normally had, the idea being that they were released from captivity. The changelings will then help protect the village in a similar manner to the iron golem.


Lord Tirek

Tirek drains experience from mobs and players. These drained mobs will not drop experience orbs if killed until Tirek is beaten. This draining of experience both heals him and increases his maximum hearts. Thus, more skilled players may have a tougher time against him.


Some mobs, when drained, lose their abilities: Creepers cannot explode and will run away. Witches cannot use potions (not that it matters, as he is immune to splash and lingering potions of Harming and Poison). Evokers cannot attack or summon Vexes. Once he is at half his current maximum HP, any nearby witches and Evokers that he may have drained regain their abilities and will help the player. The witch will toss beneficial potions at the player and Evokers will attack him directly. After defeating him, there is a ten-minute cooldown period in which previously-drained mobs will not attack the player.


Villages will act as if a raid is occurring if he is near and the player gains the Hero of the Village effect upon beating him if this happens.


Tirek’s main attack is shooting Blaze fireballs, though he also has a strong melee attack.


Grogar

Grogar has a strong connection to undead mobs. Once the player is spotted, he will start to spawn random undead mobs to attack the player. If he is damaged, any already-spawned undead mobs will head towards him to help. Nearby villagers are turned into zombie villagers. These effects can even apply to the Wither: Withers won’t attack him, they’ll come to his aid if in range, and he has a 0.01% chance to spawn one with his summoning attack. Zombie Piglins and Zoglins consider him to be one of them.


In addition to his swarming the player with undead, he also has a magical beam attack and a nasty headbutt, both of which inflict the Wither status effect.

Non-undead mobs are less appreciative of him:

-Creepers and passive mobs run away from him.

-Endermen won’t attack him, but he will attack them.

-Illagers and witches are likely to prioritize attacking him over the player, though they’re still hostile to both.


When beaten, he drops rotten flesh, a nether star, and a bell.

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First off, I'd like to mention that I've updated my MLP Pokémon teams for Generation 8. Not much has changed; I mostly just added the new apple Pokémon to the Apple family's teams. In Applejack's case, I felt replacing Sudowoodo was a good idea. Although it was a tree, it was quite deceptive, which doesn't really fit well with the element of honesty.

The second thing is completely unrelated to the first. My bedframe is a bit of a family heirloom. All I really know about it is that it was in my grandfather's house when he was a child. He was born in 1942, which means it was most likely made in the '30s or earlier. I tried looking up the logo of the manufacturer (Simmons) at the time, hoping I could narrow it down, but all I could find was the company's current logo followed by thousands of other, unrelated companies' logos. This was the case with every single search engine and resource I could think of. Nothing about the company itself that I could find has the old logos, either. Does anyone know where else I can look?
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